Why Thai food should be fresh
by Bloodsong
Summary: Beware of cheap cart food, for it can lead to the weirdest dreams...


A/N: Yes, I know, you're all waiting for a Speed Oni updated. I'm sooooo stuck right now, it isn't even funny. And to top it off, work is exploding. Gyah! *claws face* Hopefully SOMEONE will find this as funny as I did.

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Escaflowne property of Kazuki Akane, Sunrise and Bandai. "Two Princes" property of Spin Doctors, who are entirely too hooky for me.

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"Your Highness, the candidates are ready."

"Oh, very well," Princess Hitomi squared her shoulders, lifted her chin and stepped out from behind her throne. With a grand flourish, she seated herself and nodded. Two young men walked out of the shadows and knelt at the foot of the dais. One had long blond hair and a pleasant face. The other was silver haired and gave her a very cocky grin.

"You may speak," Hitomi said kindly. Incredibly catchy music filled the room, leaving the two men with mouths gaping. Hitomi frowned as the shadows parted behind the men, revealing...a band? What? How? There was a raven haired man on lead guitar, a blue haired man on drums and...no, she had to be seeing things. A kid on bass? Funny, the kid looked similar to the blond prince currently vying for her hand. The guitarist tossed his head in an effort to free his eyes from his bangs and grinned wickedly. Hitomi saw the tip of a hands-free mike on his cheek. He strutted forward until he stood just behind the kneeling men.

"One, two princes kneel before you, that's what I said now. Princes, princes who adore you, just go ahead now. One has," he pointed with his guitar to the blond, "diamonds in his pockets, that's some bread now. This one", a head jerk to the albino, "said he wants to buy you rockets, ain't in his head now." The princes were glaring at the musician. Hitomi, meanwhile, was gaping most unbecomingly. The singer moved to stand between the princes.

"This one, he got a princely racket, that's what I said now, got some big seal upon his jacket, ain't in his head now." Well that was certainly true. Anyone within half a mile could see the giant seal of Asturia on the back of the prince's coat. Hitomi closed her mouth.

"You marry him, your father will condone you, how 'bout that now. You marry me, your father will disown you, he'll eat his hat now."

"HEY!" The albino jumped to his feet in protest. The singer ignored him, making quick work of the dais steps to stand right in front of Hitomi. Her jaw unhinged again.

"Marry him, marry me, I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see? Ain't got no future or family tree, but I know what a prince and lover ought to be, I know what a prince and lover ought to be!" Hitomi stared up at the musician. He had the most beautiful eyes.

"Said if you want to call me baby, just go ahead now. And if you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now. And if you want to buy me flowers, just go ahead now, and if you want to talk for hours, just go ahead now!" The princes rushed the throne, grabbed the singer by the arms and dragged him back to the shadows. He continued to play, winking at Hitomi as his heels bumped against the steps. Hitomi folded her hands in her lap, trying to calm her sudden bout of flutters. The princes returned, dusting off their hands and resumed their original positions. The music, however, did not stop. Instead, the singer came back, his wicked grin even bigger and more wicked.

"Said one, two princes kneel before you, that's what I said now. Princes, princes who adore you, just go ahead now," He shoved his way past their outstretched arms and quickly skipped up the steps. "One has diamonds in his pockets, that's some bread now. This one said he wants to buy you rockets, ain't in his head now. Marry him, marry me, I'm the one that loves you baby, can't you see? Ain't got no future or family tree, but I know what a prince and lover ought to be! I know what a prince and lover ought to be!" By now the candidates were on their feet, looking absolutely disgusted. Hitomi leaned to the side, as the singer was again right in front of her.

"Said if you want to call me baby, just go ahead now. And if you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now. And if you want to buy me flowers, just go ahead now. And if you like to talk for hours, just go ahead now!" The princes were singing backup! Not only that, but they both waved dismissively at the singer and at HER, turned and walked into the shadows. This didn't stop the band, in fact, they got louder.

"Said if you want to call me baby, just go ahead now. And if you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now. And if you want to buy me flowers, just go ahead now. And if you like to talk for hours, just go ahead now!" The guitarist sang

"Just go ahead now," Echoed the band.

"Said if you want to call me baby, just go ahead now. And if you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now. And if you want to buy me flowers, just go ahead now. And if you like to talk for hours, just go ahead now! Oh Baby!".

"Just go ahead now."

"Oh, Your Majesty."

"Just go ahead now."

"Don't forget that I'm a king too...marry me!" Hitomi's eyes flew to the singer. He winked again. With a sudden, brilliant smile, she nodded. He spun his guitar behind him and held out his arms. She leaped from her throne, reaching...

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"OWWWWWWWW!!!!" Hitomi's nose hit the floor first, followed by the rest of her and half her covers. She sat up, rubbing the offended appendage and blinking stupidly. Her clock showed 7:05 and the radio station switched to "Champagne Supernova". She gave the clock her best death glare, which sadly, did nothing as clocks are not alive and therefore cannot be killed in the first place.

"That seals it. No more questionable Thai food from that nasty little cart. I don't care HOW cheap it is!"

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"Hey, Hitomi! What happened to your nose?" Van asked. Hitomi glared at him and took her seat. Bad enough her mother had insisted on putting two bandages on it after hearing what had happened, Merle had then seen said bandages on the walk to school and promptly dragged her into the nurse's office. Now she was sporting a thin metal brace AND a ridiculous amount of surgical tape. The bleeding had stopped HOURS ago and it wasn't even broken! What had she done to deserve this? Something tapped her shoulder.

"WHAT?" She snarled. Van simply grinned at her.

"Just wanted to make sure you hadn't knocked your temper out too," he said cheekily. Hitomi blinked, blinked again, and bashed him over the head with her notebook. While Van slunk back to his seat, rubbing his head and muttering about the value of non-aggression, Hitomi returned her gaze to the window, humming softly to herself.

"One, two princes kneel before you..."


End file.
